Here you are … single …maybe again!
Probably for the first time in decades …
an inevitable ending or an enviable ‘last act’?
What is your next step?
What’s It All About?
The truths and the lies
The facts and the fiction
The preconceptions and the misconceptions
The expectations and the realities
The heartthrobs and the heartaches
The successes and the disappointments
The chills and the thrills
Joan in TV and radio interviews
Articles by Joan Barrett
Sneak peek inside our world
Feelings of Fear, Rejection, Mistrust, Hurt, and Anger ... dump them ...
These ‘thieves’ rob you of your potential for happiness and/or contentment. How can you rid yourself of such ballast?
Picking Your Site/s...
A picture is worth a thousand words could not be truer than in online dating.
How to Read a Profile ...
Eyes wide open and between the lines. What they are telling you …and what they are not telling you.
Catfish & Players
You are now a member of SINS … how are you going to handle Catfish and Players?
Safety is paramount ....
“Luck runs out, but safety is good for life”.
SEX ... intimate engagements
Almost forgotten, illusive, highly-prized and sought-after.
Going Solo Again ...
This chapter could make you laugh or make you cry.
If you decide to …
Go solo again … is it rare?
Go solo again … is it despair?
Go solo again … is it narcissism?
Go solo again … is it just ‘settling’?
Go solo again … is it bliss?
Chapter Cartoon Snippets
About the Book
Candyland S.I.N.S. …. S.I.N.S. is Joan Barrett’s playful acronym for Singles INternet-dating Services. But, Candyland S.I.N.S. is a very serious endeavor with much research and statistics … sprinkled with humorous aging and online dating cartoons by an internationally syndicated (The Other Half) periodic cartoonist of the Chicken Soup series. Supported by … Joan’s first hand online dating accounts, it is an insider’s practical and emotional guide thoroughly detailed with how to prepare, enter, enjoy and survive SINS with a smile on your face … perhaps one of a Cheshire cat! Joan encourages her readers to practice safe involvement in what is really the only game in town for Mature Singles.
Candyland S.I.N.S. is the author Joan Barrett’s compilation of truthful firsthand and shared accounts of Mature online dating and an in-depth guide on how to successfully navigate it … practically and emotionally. It is based on her experiences and those of other members in the online dating community, as well as in numerous topical and statistical resources and studies. At times light-hearted supported by spot-on topical cartoons and at times serious with online dating cautionary tales and safety conduct recommendations, but never dull, Candyland S.I.N.S. informs and entertains.
Mature online dating is a pertinent topic in a still murky area that needs clarification along with encouragement. Detailed safety measures are part of this positive guide … with chapters on ‘Scammers’, ‘Catfish and Players’, ‘Safety Guidelines’ and ‘How to Read a Profile … what they say and what they don’t say’. The practical aspects of ‘Picking Sites’ and ‘Online Dating Etiquette’ are discussed including the important tasks of the writing, reading and photography of online dating profiles; the emotions of ‘Fear, Rejection, Mistrust, Hurt and Anger’ borne by Mature daters and ‘Sex’ with its health benefits and precautions are sensitively addressed along with today’s Mature Singles’ option of ‘Living Solo’ and enjoying the social aspects of online dating.
Joan introduces her readers to this online dating world and in ensuing chapters keeps them looking forward to what could be around the next corner for them (and her) as they all seek their later-in-life and, possibly, best ‘hurrah’.
Candyland S.I.N.S. Book Chapter Snippets
Break down the beariers
…Young and Seasoned Mature Dating and Sex are here to stay! Get used to it. Baby boomers are once again breaking down barriers. Yes, MATURE DATING and SEX are now even mentioned in public … not common in polite conversation until the advent of online dating. Our hearts can still skip a beat … and, unfortunately, ache and break as well. May the happier sort of heart condition be in store for you as you venture through the Candyland of SINS. Be ready for a rollercoaster ride that can place your heart in your throat ... a heart pumping with new life, exhilarated and re-generated … a heart sometimes broken if you leap into SINS without sufficient guidance and controls in place.
Dip into the pool
Candyland SINS (my playful loose acronym for Singles Internet-dating Services) is a seemingly murky, if not temptingly exotic, world to which so many Single Matures are drawn. Internet dating is an ever expanding world-wide phenomenon that is more than flourishing. You can be part of and benefit from that growth because the dating pool for Matures is becoming increasingly larger. A 2013 E-Harmony study predicted that the age 55-64 bracket is expected to have the biggest online growth, with a 30 percent increase between 2013 and 2030 … from 1.87 million to 2.41 million members in this age category. The study further foresees by 2031 half of all couples will have met online … as will seven in ten couple by 2040. The sites within SINS await you to join other mature daters in their search for future partners and mates. Isn’t it great to think not of inevitable endings but of expectant beginnings!
Find your mate
I have had many examples of both types of members email me with almost every lifestyle depicted in their photos that I can only imagine: from sea farmers to cattle ranchers, from metropolitan sophisticates to farmers in suspendered dungarees, from a yogi in his wrapped robe to an Indian chief in his headdress, and more. I will always remember the prisoner. I didn’t see his surroundings, but the headshot in the orange jump suit was a big clue. He stated his profession as ‘law enforcement’. I believe he lived in a gated community, just not the one that most would want to share with him. I can say he was creative. A large number of matching sites exist for both male and female prisoners. He picked the wrong site.
Enjoy a healthy sex life
Sex in your mature years …. You cannot ignore that it will become, at minimum, a focus of your thoughts and, likely, discussions with your potential partner as you continue to see each other …. And, if you are both agreeable and sexually compatible you can enjoy the some of the best sexual sharing of your lives … in your 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and beyond.
Write your later-life chapters worthy of a best-seller
Embrace your life at this stage with good humor, passion, gusto and goals. Your family and friends will just have to go with the flow. Many Matures will not be deterred from living their remaining years and decades with enthusiasm … and positive actions exploring and forging new paths for greater happiness.
Get back that zany feeling
Baby boomer daters experience new love with the same telltale characteristics such as those zany feelings and emotions of their teens and twenties. Falling in love at any older age can bring out the teenager in most of us … the best and the worst parts. Quite often we experience even better relationships … less fleeting and with more depth. Most of us who have loved and lost are more appreciative of this glorious state in which we may now find ourselves.
Step by step
Consider slowly joining (as in not all in the same day or even the same week) a combination of sites that might be appropriate and for freein order to get your feet wet and give yourself some experience. Doing so would allow you to explore in different directions at little cost. Play the different fields just as you might do socially in your own traditional communities. SINS is your new community … and a wide open one it is. Please be aware that the free sites tend to be more heavily populated with unsavory characters. Always practice safe singling. Follow your safety guidelines; stay in control of your communications and interactions.
Browse at your leisure confidently and securely
… these sites take their members’ safety and security very seriously. Many entities use fraud detection algorithms and employ living, breathing people who review every dating profile at the time at registration. You can browse, connect, flirt and email with confidence. Unless you foolishly break some of the safety precautions recommended both in Candyland S.I.N.S. and on individual sites, your privacy and security are pretty much secured.
Would anyone be interested in me?
Yes, generally. Of course, you have to be realistic in your expectations of how many might be interested in you. Also, you may not find those contacting you acceptable. You must do more searches, extend yourself, truthfully re-work your profile, and approach those whom you want to meet because you sense something special about them in their profiles. .… Your appearance, lifestyle, interests, background, etc. And certainly, how well you present yourself and express your personality in your profile all come into play
A healthy lifestyle choice
How you expand your boundaries and morph your expectations while meeting members from many walks of life is dependent upon you … and a bit on fate. I suspect most of us, if we met the absolutely right one who knocked our socks off, would settle into a partnered life. But in this era, the alternative lifestyle of self-determined Singleton living (living Solo) is not at all a negative one and certainly better than so many Marrieds tied down and drowning in unhappy relationships. The Solo living option may be one you want to explore as an alternative to full-time partnering. Here is yet another lifestyle choice.